“Can she kick your butt?”
“You need to be careful – she could kill you!”
“Don’t piss her off or you’ll be sorry!”
“Aren’t you scared?”
“You could take her if you really wanted though right?”
“In a real fight you would win though, right?”
“You’re a fit guy, can’t you use your man strength and just overpower her?”
These are some of the many questions and reactions I have faced during the two years that I have been dating and married to my wife, who happens to be an expert martial arts and self defence teacher.
People are obviously – though often they won’t admit it – very curious and interested in this subject. However, especially men, feel embarrassed to talk about it (I can relate to that feeling and I will certainly return to this topic) or even refuse to admit some rather obvious facts (like that a trained female martial arts professional will easily beat an average male).
So I made this blog to answer and talk about all the questions above and others on the same subject: the huge benefits of women doing martial arts, confronting myths and prejudice – and also discussing how it affects traditional gender roles and how men (like myself) without martial arts skills react when their female partners are training in martial arts.
Who am I?
I am a 27 year old man living a fairly “regular” and happy life. I have a well paying job that I very much enjoy, my health is intact and I have a nice home and a beautiful wife. In other words, – so I’m certainly not complaining about my lot in life.
I am a rather fit guy. I stand 1.84 m (slightly under 6 feet 1 inch) tall and I weigh 83 kg (183 lbs). I have always been quite active, into various sports and working out regularly to keep in shape. Obviously there are guys who are much bigger and stronger than me. But I am far from a couch potato and I would definitely say I am in better shape than the average man.
A little bit more about me here.
My wife teaches hapkido
About two years ago I met the wonderful, sweet and lovely woman I am now lucky enough to call my wife. She has been practicing hapkido, a Korean martial art, since she was a small girl. Today, at the age of 22, she is an experienced 4th dan black belt and works as a hapkido and self defense instructor.
My wife is 17 cm (7 inches) shorter and about 25 kg (55 lbs) lighter than me. She looks perfectly harmless and very feminine – I really don’t think anyone would guess she is a martial arts expert just by looking at her. Yet, because of her expert hapkido skills, she can literally wipe the floor with me – without even trying hard! I know this for a fact because as we became a couple, out of curiosity I asked her to show me some of her skills. And even though I now know very well that I don’t stand a chance against her, I admit I still can’t resist “challenging” her to a (playful) one on one duel from time to time! It is exciting and fun and she is careful not to hurt me for real – except for the inevitable (slight) bruising of my male ego.
That’s it for today – more to come
Ok – this is all for today. This blog is very new and very much a work in progress. I’ll write more in the coming days. In the meantime – enjoy the weekend!
Cool that you are actually writing about this! I can already recognize a lot of the stuff you mention. One of my ex girlfriends had a black belt in judo!
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Thank you! Yeah my impression is that there are more guys than one perhaps think who has some form of experience of this kind of situation…
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Reblogged this on A Conscious Life and commented:
Following on from my recent post regarding women learning to protect themselves; there is only benefit and empowerment to be gained. And it’s a hell of a lot of fun, too.
Stephanie.
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So true!
And thanks for reblogging! 🙂
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It always bothered me that people who do not understand martial arts think that those who practice these physical art forms are violent, and unable to control themselves which is the exact opposite of the truth. Good for you for seeing beyond the hype and not being afraid to love, and marry, an empowered woman.
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Yes it is a shame that this kind of prejudice is still so common. As you say the truth is the exact opposite!
And thank you for those kind words!
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Love your blog
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Thank you!
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Pingback: “You’re a fit guy, can’t you use your strength and just overpower her?” | My Wife is a Black belt
🤣🤣 this is one heck of a unique post. And I love it for that.
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Haha thank you! Unique in a good way I suppose then? 😛
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