Back when I made the first post of this blog, I rounded up a couple of questions and comments that I get as a man married to a woman who happens to be a professional martial arts expert – and I will try o answer some of them here on this blog. The third question I will take on is:
“In a real fight you would win though, right?”
This is very much related to my previous post – and I won’t dwell too long on this subject, mainly because the answer is pretty obvious.
It took quite a while for me to get to a point when I felt confident enough about myself to actually talk to other men about my wife (at that time girlfriend) being a black belt martial arts instructor and to admit that by using her martial arts skills she had proved to me that she could defeat me at fighting and wrestling with the greatest of ease. I was then somewhat surprised to find that one of the first reactions of several guys after hearing about this, was to suggest that if it had been a “real fight”, surely I would have won against her!
To me, this made little sense. I mean as a 5th dan hapkido black belt, my wife has mastered some pretty devastating punching and kicking techniques. And in a theoretical “everything goes” fight situation, she would obviously be free to use them. Adding to that, she would of course also still be free to use all those techniques which, in her hapkido demonstrations with me, allowed her to consistantly throw me around like a rag doll and tie me up in knots, despite all my best efforts to stop her. And had she applied those techniques on me in a “real life” situation, there would be no soft mattresses to pad my landing…
On top of that fact, she knows exactly how and where to kick and strike to cause maximum damage, so you don’t have to be a genius to figure out the likely outcome of a hypothetical fight between me and her. Yes, obviously I would have been allowed to throw punches myself – but let’s face it, the chance of me landing one of them against someone who has practiced all her life on how to avoid being hit by punches and kicks is pretty much zero. So, barring some major stroke of luck or a freak accident, such an encounter would obviously not end well for me.
This should all be pretty self evident. Yet, as I said, several of my male friends insisted that in a real fight, I would somehow come out victourious. The only explanation for this reaction, I would say, is the deeply ingraiend resistance and feeling of embarrassment of most men to admit that a woman is better than us at fighting. Even in cases like this, when there really is no objective or logical reason to feel embarrassed about it, given that the woman involved is a martial arts expert with many years of hard training behind her.
Yet for most of men, it still feels embarrassing. Why is that, really? I mean a man who has never played a single game of tennis wouldn’t be embarrassed to admit that a professional female tennis player is better than him at tennis. And a man who has never studied astrophysics wouldn’t be embarrassed to admit that a woman with a phd in astrophysics is in better command of astrophysics than him. But when it comes to fighting, things are very different. I’ll write down some of my thoughts on why that is, in my next post.